On Regret...

It could just be coincidence, or maybe events happen for a reason, but I have noticed that many things that have happened around me lately seem to be telling me to pay attention.  It's almost as if I need to, in order to avoid later regrets.
I've noticed that most of the music I have been drawn to listening to has a positive vibe to it, affirmations, calls to live like there's no tomorrow--reminding us after all that it's just our one life, we have to live it, so why not push it in the direction we want to go?  The past should not be a regret, it's a base or point to work from with the knowledge we've gathered thus far.

I consider myself lucky, so far in my life the few special people I have lost, have left knowing I truly cared for them and that before they passed they knew I was going to miss them. There were no lingering bad feelings, and that played a part in helping me move on and cherish my memories after their passings.
I am understanding what the expression "No man is an island" is truly about. We as humans are wired to need to be loved and accepted by those in our lives. Having special people in our lives helps us grow, become stronger, and helps us to be able to endure the inevitable hardships in life. The loss of one of these special souls changes us and time helps us cope with our loss.

This fact was driven home for me recently.  I acutely remember how the scary combination of words and emotion heard in a voice drove my heart to pound hard and fast.  It dawned on me almost immediately that I had been taking someone's continued presence for granted, and that I had no right to expect that presence. Life can be cruel, and we all know it. I wrote down a bunch of things I wanted this person to know (if they didn't already) to affirm their personal importance to me. I arrived at the hospital, and wouldn't you know it, whipping out a piece of paper to read from (no matter how well-intended) did not "feel" right. I winged it, just saying whatever thoughts flooded into my head. We are so conditioned to two-way conversations, that it felt plain weird to be saying things to someone, who by outward appearances, was sleeping peacefully.  Despite feeling awkward, I said what I felt needed to be said.  At this point I felt overwhelmed, so I left, with no indication of acknowledgement of the things I said.  Never mind, I got to say them.

Here's where I feel lucky in a bad situation. I got another chance to say these things again, AND witness a response. It pains me to see what illness and injury can do to the human body. I see how fragile people can be, how in a short time we can be betrayed by our bodies, even if our mind is still sharp and lucid.  Despite this betrayal, I have seen that a person can still be themselves, and find a way to shine through their adversity.

All this has got me thinking about other people in my life. People I like, love, or adore, but for whatever reason don't get to see or talk to as often as I could or should. I will be making more of an effort to let people in my life know they are important to me more often. No matter what life has in store for me I do not want to look back with a multitude of regrets that I didn't say something I should have...
Now to put these words into actions!

Social Media and Second-Guessing

I always maintain that I am a work-in-progress.  There is always something new to learn and figure out, and I like to feel that I can be open to other ideas.  Just recently I have realized the importance of  "never say never," unless you've actually had an experience.  I gave Apple a chance, after long swearing that I would never become an "iSucker".  I bought a Nano (on sale, of course), and although I miss my reliable Sansa Fuze, the Nano has proved to be decent replacement.  I experienced the product, yet you won't see me running out to get the next generation the moment it becomes available. I have learned that I can try something new and it won't change me to my core. This little preamble is leading into my current learning path:  What I can accurately portray on social media.

I will make no secret of it. I need to improve my self-esteem.  Long ago, (and a few jobs back) I was emptying trash at a government office. They were moving some of the employees around, and in the process many of them were cleaning up their work areas.  The volume of trash that week was astounding.  Near the end of the week one of the cubicles had a metal garbage can full of papers, old office supplies, and some BOOKS!  I cannot stand to throw books away.  There were two at the top that caught my eye, one of them being a book on improving self-esteem.  These I rescued from the fate of the Dumpster out back.  They came home with me, but alas, were stowed on the shelf, and oops, forgotten amid the noise and shuffle of life.

I like to think that things happen for a reason, and during a recent rummage through a bunch of papers and etc in my filing cabinet, I came across the book on self-esteem.  This prompted my status on Facebook to read, Sometimes another man's junk becomes my treasure, obviously referencing the fact that someone (man or woman) had no use for the book (junk) but I found it useful, so it had become my treasure!  No comments were forthcoming on this, which is fine, I don't need comments to validate my status, but the other half was giving me snarky looks, and asked about the status, in a somewhat condescending tone.  I said, "Yes the status refers to that book I rescued a long time ago."  Oh shit, then it dawned on me what he thought I had written.  I immediately felt so embarrassed about this, even though it was not what I meant, but that others would construe it that way.  My way of dealing with it?  I deleted the status, and thought of something else.

This occurrence made me think that maybe I should second-guess what I post, in case I offend someone, but true to the spirit of self-esteem, I have to own my feelings and not immediately be embarrassed by them. I wasn't hurting anyone.  All I think I was guilty of was creative wording, I can't spend all day looking from every angle to make sure everything looks tip-top and neutral.  At one point I was entertaining the thought of having an alias Facebook account to say the saucier or controversial things I sometimes want to say, but then I second-guess in order to not rock the boat.  I am hoping by reading my treasure book, it will give me more insight into myself, and by realizing my feelings and thoughts are valid I will just say what I think and let people, GASP! be offended sometimes!
I have only one life, and as it goes on, I know I was not put here to be a doormat for others.  I want to have the power to be me and get on with it.

I'm not looking to be a radical and say everything on my mind to cause a stir. I just want a good foundation of self-esteem to be able to rock the boat now and then without falling overboard and drowning
So yeah, oops I may blunder here and there on social media, but I know my intent, so anyone offended in the future can just deal with it. It's MY status, obviously I took the time to post it, so yes, I stand by it.  I hope to never feel the need to delete a status again, but keeping in mind I am a work-in-progress, we'll see!               

Thrifty's New Best Friend!

Not sure I want to start off by declaring "I'm cheap!", so I won't.  I am thrifty (for the most part).  Like many others, unlimited moo-lala isn't the reality.  I currently work part time to avoid paying child-care costs.  I have a hard time stomaching the idea of paying someone else to look after the kids I brought into the world to enjoy, (again, for the most part!). My buying habits tend to be a mix of conservative brand-new, think sales, or even basic items with basic, reasonable prices and secondhand.  Earlier this year I found something to complement my buying power.  I was introduced to the local Buy and Sell through Facebook.  Looked intriguing, so I asked to join the group, read their rules and outlines, and by that weekend listed a couple things I had been wanting to get rid of.  Success!  The first day I listed I made a sale, woohoo! It wasn't long before I was trawling on the Buy and Sell page every time I was on Facebook. I spent more time there than on "regular" Facebook activities.  Soon I was finding all kinds of bargains and getting rid of some things I didn't need around the house. Talk about a win-win situation!  The biggest sale I made was of my car, which I hadn't been getting much interest in through other venues. On a roll!

This summer the group made the decision to switch to a format called Varagesale, which for the most part has been awesome!  It has a layout for those using a PC, and also a mobile app, which was an improvement over the former set-up, great as it was.  You can look through a feed at everything posted recently, or by category if you are looking for something specific.  If you want to post sale items with your phone, that has been made a snap too.  No excuses to not get rid of unwanted treasures!  I've even enticed my older kids to sell off stuff they aren't playing with anymore for cold hard cash to get what they do want. Clearing out, learning value and less pestering me to pay for things--what more could I ask for?
I have scored myself some awesome deals.  Brand name stuff I wouldn't be caught dead paying the sticker price for. I look like I spent a lot, but didn't--haha!
I like to think that this thriftiness isn't just good for me.  I am stimulating a different kind of economy. I pay people in my own community for things they no longer want, but that I can use. Now they have the money to do with as they see fit.  I don't get all the packaging and other crap, didn't have to pay TAX--and I get to know my community that little bit more.  By selling stuff to other people, I get stuff I don't want out of the house, I make someone else happy (possibly because they saved money)and again, met more members of the community.

I will admit it, I love feeling like a got a deal, which is why I will continue to use Varagesale, but I will also frequent the local secondhand stores as they help charities and our local hospital.  And to our local businesses, I will also shop from you, but don't seem surprised if you see that I gravitate towards the words SALE, DISCOUNT, or any other money-saving terms.  I will pay full price, but only if I think it is worth it, after all I have to earn my money.

The way I see it, thriftiness has other rewards.  Stuff is getting re-used, re-purposed, and re-homed locally. Why shouldn't people get a few bucks if their unwanted stuff is still in fair to excellent condition?   Varagesale is saving me time and money getting things at a fraction of brand-new cost, and once I make a deal, I just go pick it up at the same time I am doing other errands--in other words, no big deal!

Varagesale is this thrifty bargain-hunter's dream.  Thanks to all the people out there who run it, and to all the people who contribute by buying, selling, and even just looking--passing it on to others. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need to go check the Varagesale feed, just looking!