Gratitude

No, I'm not beating a hasty retreat from this life--at least as far as I know!  It's just so often though that I hear of folks who regret not showing or sharing their gratitude when they had the chance.  It may not be a big thing, but I TRY to let those around me know when I appreciate something that has been done for me.  Maybe I worry about the little things, but I do feel bad if I forget to say, "Thank You," out loud (or on paper), because within the confines of my secret noggin, I am thinking those words, having that thought.  I try very hard not to have high expectations of anyone else, as I know everyone's values differ.  Sometimes I can tell by someone's actions they are grateful--and that is enough for me.  Anyhow, thinking about gratitude in general:  Who wants to be thanked or appreciated?  Even though there is no one in the room with me as I type this, I suspect if there were a roomful, every hand would be up right now--well, at least just about every hand.  And why not?  The act of being grateful is not an act of weakness.  It is an act of compassion, of caring, and communication.  Whoa, lots of alliteration there!  To get to my point, whether giving or receiving--gratitude has a lot going for it.  Giving it tells a person or party you validate and appreciate their thoughts, efforts, or actions, and that it meant enough to you that you felt the need to share this feeling with them.  Now speaking only from my own personal experience, when someone feels the need to express gratitude to me for something I have said, done, given, or suggested--I find myself thinking from just a simple exclamation of  "Wow, that made a difference, and it wasn't hard to make it happen, so right on!"  all the way up to a chemically pleasing response in my brain that I can only assume is akin to some drugs available out there that some poor folks overdose on.  A natural high if you will!

I will make no secret of it here folks--I hate confrontations, especially the negative sort.  Carrying around negative, nasty emotions is generally not good for one's health--mentally or physically.  If I have learned anything in my three plus decades on this Earth, it is that despite best efforts you are going to have to deal with people who may have less than stellar ambitions for your mental well-being.  I would like to think I am an optimist at heart, even though I know some outcomes can't really be anything but negative.  My solution for my own sanity and soul is to just be grateful for the things I can be.  Sometimes it is just as simple as that, and other times it takes a lot of mental wrangling to self-determine if I even am grateful!
So here goes--sometimes just saying "Thank You," in a sincere tone is enough, other times it wouldn't even scratch the surface of my appreciation.  I don't think I'm crossing the line giving gifts to show my gratitude.  I wouldn't ever "expect" it of anyone else--I do it because the the simple reason is I want to--it is who I am, (and don't try to change me!)   Personally I detest when expectation and gratitude come together--not a pretty combination as far as I'm concerned!  If I do something really nice for someone, I have generally done it because I want to, and therefore have no expectation.  If I do "expect", I generally find I am disappointed, which generally negates the good feeling I have about the deed in the first place.  Not exactly a win-win situation.  I like making my brain feel good, after all-- it is the master control room, and should be rewarded.  This in turn is what fuels my motivation to be grateful.  I won't tell the story here, but I have done things for no material reward, in fact in hindsight, it seems crazy to have taken on, but I have done them purely for the warm fuzzy feeling that spreads throughout the electrical connections of my neurons.  Getting thanked for such a deed becomes icing on the cake, and allows me to ride the good vibration wave even longer.  In fact I have now become grateful for something I have done AT the same time others are expressing their gratitude to me for having done said deed.  Double whammy for the gray matter upstairs!

I guess in summary I should just say I have found being grateful works for me.  Now I'm no saint, I'm not grateful 100% of the time, yes, I slip and forget to say thank you--maybe I go overboard on expressing gratitude occasionally, but, I do wonder if I can be GRATEFUL that many of the good things in my life are due to just that!  So, I end with Thank You to everyone in my life who makes me smile, feel loved, worthwhile, and important.  I once again feel grateful, and boy, does it feel great!